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Lions ate him... - Lord of the Rings news - J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings

July 09, 2000 at 13:49:02

Tolkien-Movies.Com is attributing pictures of a stone column to Realm of the Ring (and either our server hasn't updated its cache, or Mathew Bass has scooped even Realm of the Ring with their own images).

The images reveal a short stone column that ends in what appears to be a lion's head...or an upraised fist in a mimic of the UGO network logo (has Peter Jackson finally signed on with UGO?).

We asked two well-known art critics for comment on the sculpture but they weren't returning phone calls, so we've provided two ringers to speak in their place.

Ringer Art Critic 1: "It reminds me of anger, the great depth of Tolkien's passion, and how he would have reviled Ralph Bakshi's movie."

Ringer Art Critic 2: "It disgusts me."

Ringer Art Critic 1: "I am moved by the symmetry."

Ringer Art Critic 2: "It sickens me."

Ringer Art Critic 1: "Behold the bold contours. Appreciate the sweeping Romanesque patternia."

Ringer Art Critic 2: "I cannot take my eyes off of it."

(Apologies to Seinfeld fans: apparently the two ringers had just watched an episode where Jerry was dating an artist who painted Kramer.)

On a more serious note, could this possibly be intended for the crossroads scene where Sam, Frodo, and Gollum see the fallen head beside the stature of the Gondorian king? Could this just be a leftover prop from "I, Maximus Minimus" or possibly the stone from the Hercules/Xena King Arthur episodes?

More breaking news on the broken statuary in New Zealand is sure to appear on various Web sites once people get tired of praising Ralph Bakshi for being entirely faithful to Tolkien by combining Legolas and Glorfindel....