Science Fiction, Fantasy |
The Lord of the Ringers | The Back Roads |
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Science Fiction, Fantasy |
The Lord of the Ringers | The Back Roads |
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The Lord of the Ringers, by Mithrigil Galtirglin |
Special thanks to: 
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Chapter Six, "The Back Roads"
Fred woke suddenly. It was still dark in the room....or would have been if Kenny hadn't turned the dimmer switch to the maximum light. Kenny had also started tap-dancing in an effort to wake the honored guest. "ALL RIGHT!!! What is it?!?" cried Fred, still shaken and bewildered. "What is it!" said Kenny. "It is time to get up! It's half past 4, and the 'plane' leaves at 8:00, so we'd better get out and ready before they notice. Somebody had better wake Ben up so he can help us get the luggage downstairs." At about 6 the boys were ready to set out. Ben got their luggage to the bottom of the stairs (yes, the elevator was still out), inquiring all the while about what the others were planning on doing. "How do you suppose you're gonna get through this?" Kenny replied, "We take the Limo to the outskirts of Town, where Sam's car is waiting. His Dad knows at least as much as we do..." "Probably more," muttered Fred. "...and is lending us that 4-seater-thingy so long as we don't take it past Breebrook." Pip laughed at the mention of that. "BREEBROOK? What the fuck is a BREEBROOK?" Kenny almost laughed as well. He reached into his pocket and produced a map of the Tri-state area. He pointed to a small dot. "This is The Shire..." and then he trailed his finger about a fourth of an inch to the east. There was a circle made in pencil with an "X" through it. "...and this is where he says...BREEBROOK...is supposed to be." Sam stared. "And where did my Dad get a map?" "He didn't, this was Dr. Grey's. He said that before Grey left for the summer he wanted us to have this. " Pip noticed something about the map's other side. "Hey, what's that say?" Kenny flipped the map over. It read thus: Hello Fred and Company.There was no signature. "Trust in SAM? Oh, right, he's the nerd." I'll let you figure out who said it. Sam smiled to himself. "Right then, Freddy-boy, you pick the hitchhikers. I'm still the one behind the wheel." Fred feigned fear. "OooOoohh, I call the safety seat!" The directions were good ones, until the boys started to get bored. Fred was sulking (and yes, he was in the "safety seat"; ya reap whatcha sow, doncha know), Kenny was on map, in the passenger seat, contemplating ignoring the advice on the flip side of the paper, and Sam was trying to keep his eyes on the road while singing along to Pip's "Best of Andrew Lloyd Webber" CD. Of course Pippin was leading an absolutely HORRID rendition of "Magical Mr. Mistofellees" when Kenny yelled, "Stop the car!!" Of course Sam obeyed, and, as luck would have it, Fred whocked his right ear on the back of Sam's seat. Kenny was scrutinizing the map. He looked up and pointed out his window. "What does that sign say?" he asked, noting an ordinary street sign. "Old Willow Drive. Why?" Sam answered then asked. "Nothing. It just says here that Old Willow Drive was supposed to come after Bonfire Glade, where we're supposed to turn on. We must have missed it." "Right." Sam led them back a few roads. Still no Bonfire Glade. "Crap," Kenny continued, "there's no road. Sam, could you pull over here?" Sam did so. Kenny studied the map for a few minutes. "Damn, are we lucky! Old Willow Drive and Bonfire Glade meet at Withywindle Avenue, which brings us to--[here he roadie-babbled for a good 3 and a half minutes]--and then to...[light snickering]...Lumpkin Street..." Pippin convulsed with laughter and beat his head against Kenny's seatback several times. "...which puts us back on track with these directions. OUCH!! Will you STOP that, Pippin Eagle Tate!!" It was now Fred who was laughing hysterically. "Pippin EAGLE Tate!!! EAGLE!!! How come you never told ME?!?!" Pip was smiling but trying not to slug him. "If you were me would you want you to know that my middle name was Eagle?" "What bizarre twist of fate left you with that name?!" "Well, my parents figured I was a sign of divine intervention. It's a Tolkien thing. My Dad's idea. I think it could be worse." Fred raised his eyebrows. "How?" "I would have been Pippin MUNKUSTRAP Tate if my mother had had her way!!" The car windows rang with adolescent laughter. After about an hour or two they had lost all sense of direction, but were still on the chipper side. They continued to drive along, and it started getting darker, even though it was only early afternoon. Just as Pip, Sam and Kenny (Fred, although momentarily lightened by Pippin's...predicament...was still sulking) were on a RIDICULOUSLY long note of "Those Canaan Days" from "Joseph etc.", lightning struck. Sam nearly stopped the car short. All stopped singing. Sam grunted, "OK, whose job was it to check the weather report?" Fred's eyebrows raised and his mouth tightened. "You. I might have known." "What's the big problem? Sammy boy scared of a little lightning?" Just now the thunder rang. "Not scared. Just not licensed." Fred glared. "Sorry to burst your bubble, Mr. Morality, but we aren't exactly doing the legal thing by lying to our parents and running out of town. Most likely we'll be doing MORE immoral and illegal things before we even GET to Rivendell. Maybe even before Breebrook--DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH!!", he yelled, before Pippin could start, "and I don't really think that a little driving in the rain is gonna send you to Hell." "No, but homicide will." Fred smirked. "You wouldn't dare." Sam growled quietly. Pippin changed the subject. "Umm, where are we?" Kenny, who had been studying the map, looked up. "What do you call a blind moose fornicating?" Eyebrows raised. Sam eventually got it. "No fucking idea." Pippin, after some nervous laughter, added his two cents. "Then we are really screwed. No pun intended. It was nearing 4:00, and the boys were just sitting there, arguing their adolescent heads off, when Sam heard a faint music in the distance. "Hmm hmmmm Hmmm hmmm-hm-hm,Sam motioned to the other boys to hush. "We've got help coming." Pippin listened for a while. "Hmm hMm hm HMmmm-hm-hm.... Darn! Can't remember the blasted national anthem!" "Help. From some random English guy. Right." Pippin raised one eyebrow. Sam started. "Seriously. The map says to listen to me about who to talk to, and I think this is the guy." "If you're so sure, than prove it." Fred prodded from the safety seat. "Fine. Get out of the car." Fred obeyed with some pompousness, figuring he might as well watch Sam humiliated himself from the front row. What they could see through the rain was a man in a blue raincoat and large yellow galoshes. He was clean-shaven, and his face appeared well-structured. His hair (if he had any) was covered by a blue rain-hat like fishermen wear. Sam gave Fred the orders. "On my count, call for help. 1, 2, 3...." Both boys called "HELP!" Sam ran towards the man. Fred followed. "Whoa, whoa, steady there! Now, my little fellows, where are you going to, puffing like a bellows?" he called, then, under his breath, he muttered "....that was so grammatically incorrect the first time...glad I changed it.....stupid little Christopher...." He then continued, in the old voice, "What's the matter here then? Do you know who I am? I'm John...John...well, I'm not going to tell you my last name just yet, boys, just say John. Tell me, what's your trouble?" Sam knew that this was the right guy. "I'm not allowed to drive in the rain. Would you mind getting us off the road?" "Sure, kids. I'll take you to my place. My wife and I have been expecting you 4. I'll take you home, and when the rain clears, you can go along your merry way. Or rather, your 'Kenny' way..." They started toward the cars. Kenny got into the back-seat, and Sam took the passenger seat. John -- took the wheel. He wound along the back roads until he came to Maiar court. He turned at a sign that said "Hidden Driveway", and drove for about a mile, up to a fair-sized brown and green house. After the car was parked, John calmly slid out of the car. He walked up to the door of the house, and said "Well, I'm back!" Fred was the first one to make it to the doorway. He heard a kind, old female voice saying "You mean the ones you prophesied, dear?" "Yes, the Baggins boy and his 3 comrades. I feel so proud, my Luthien." By then, all four boys were on the threshold, and a golden light was all about them. Go back to chapter 5, "Caesar Salad" |
"The Lord of the Ringers" is an original work, Copyright © 2000 by Mithrigil Galtirglin. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced, electronically or otherwise, without express permission from the author. For public or commercial use of this work please contact Mithrigil. Used by permission on Xenite.Org. |